‘Visualisation, anchoring and the art of matching and mirroring’: Body language expert reveals how to successfully land a promotion and pay rise at work

Darren Stanton reveals the top tips for the workplace, including how to secure a pay rise and how to be a team player.

Asking for a raise or more recognition in the workplace can be a daunting prospect, but leading psychologist and body language expert Darren Stanton has revealed the key to secure those big moments at work, including how the art of ‘matching and mirroring’ is vital for a successful outcome.

In a new interview with CRM platform Sweep.io, Darren shares his top tips when it comes to building respect with your boss and landing that all-important pay rise or promotion. Darren reveals that visualising the meeting or conversation in your head as well as the desired outcome you want helps your brain to recognise those feelings and make you more confident when it comes to the real deal.

He shares the benefit of techniques such as visualizing ‘confidence as a colour’ in your mind, anchoring and matching and mirroring your boss’ body language in order to develop trust and rapport. Darren also touches on what you can do verbally to win over your boss, including encouraging them to say ‘yes’ as many times as possible within a conversation and purposefully using language that matches their communication style.

Speaking on behalf of Sweep.io, body language expert Darren Stanton said:

Run the scenario in your mind and visualise yourself as ‘positive and confident’ to secure a promotion

“The first thing successful people will do is run the scenario in their mind so when you come to do it for real the brain will recognise the scenario. If you imagine something going really well when you come to do it for real the brain will know what to do, it’s called visual motor rehearsal, athletes and lots of successful people do it. By seeing that version of yourself in your mind, being very confident, with open palm gestures, breathing normally, feeling good it helps the real life scenario.

“Before you are about to go into the meeting run those things through your mind, followed by a good handshake, matching and mirroring the person interviewing you and good eye contact will all help and give you confidence in the meeting.

“Some people also give confidence a colour in their mind, it sounds crazy but give the feeling a colour and by visualising yourself in your mind you will feel more confident. The use of language is also important, be aware of the language people use, the brain will often hear the negative so be aware of that and use positive language and say what you want in your mind.”

‘Matching and mirroring’ will build rapport and show trust and respect to your colleagues

“The key to success in a job role first of all is verbal communication. If people find it easy to communicate with you and if you are good at communicating with them, that is going to stand you in good stead. Rapport and the ability to connect with people and build trust in the office is also vital. In terms of body language, matching and mirroring your colleagues is key, match people’s posture to build trust and rapport and develop your relationship with certain individuals.

“You can test the water with your posture, adopt a certain posture and if others follow you and do the same, it indicates they trust you. Keep in mind how those you are conversing with are standing, copying their stance to mirror them is another way you can build rapport.”

Be mindful to use language techniques such as the ‘yes set’ and pay attention to how your boss communicates

“There is something called the ‘yes set’ or ‘tie downs’ in psychology and also in sales. It’s getting the person to say yes as much as possible. For example, you could say ‘I’m sure you’ll agree this year has been a really successful year for us so far this year, are you happy with everything I’ve done so far for us?’ They respond ‘yes’, keep asking questions where the likely response to those questions is ‘yes’. Doing so leads this person down a metaphorical corridor and as you go, you’re theoretically closing doors. What you want to do is make it really difficult for your manager to say no. If you gain a ‘yes’ for say six or seven different aspects where they’ve agreed you’ve been successful, it’ll be increasingly difficult for that person to say no. You’ll create a lot of leverage here. This is often seen in a sales setting too.

“Set the intention to listen, not just to what they say, but how they communicate. If I recognise that they’re a very visual person, they’ll tend to use a lot of visual language like ‘do you see what I mean?’ We predominantly operate on visuals, audio and kinaesthetics - we see, hear and feel. Certain people operate in one of those camps more prominently, so it’s important to match that of the person you’re speaking to. If a person leans towards kinaesthetic, lean towards language that is more tactile, words like ‘feel’, ‘grasp’ etc.

Anchoring is a covert way to position yourself in a positive way

“There’s also something called anchoring. Imagine the anchor of a ship, in psychology this is almost like when you see a red traffic light or you see someone shake hands. You give them a response - you either stop your car or you hand your hand out. In anchoring, this means that when you make a really good point about something you’ve achieved, if you make a certain gesture - either with your hand or with a pen - exclamate that point.

“Later on, when you come to bring that conversation to a close, if you make those similar gestures the other person will unconsciously tag or anchor all those positive feelings with you. It regurgitates all the positive aspects of your conversation with them in a covert way.”

‘Use initiative’ and ‘don’t be a clock watcher’ if you want to be a team player

“Be a person that uses your initiative, don’t just be a clock watcher or operate within your own box, take a risk, sometimes it pays or sometimes it doesn’t but at least you will be seen as a person who is willing to try. Even if you fail it shows you are willing to go the extra mile.

“Don’t cut corners, be the person that sets goals and achieves them, don’t cut yourself short. If the team has a goal, make sure you are a part of that team and have the ability to maybe do tasks you don’t want to to help the team. It’s not all about the individual, a lot of the time it’s about working with your colleagues.”

‘See your job as a bank account’, make ‘deposits’ by going above and beyond

“Another way to secure a promotion or raise at work is to change your mindset when it comes to your daily tasks. If you see your job role as a bank account, every time you do things you are making hypothetical deposits. If you are someone who does the bare minimum, watches the clock go down and doesn’t really stand out, you effectively aren’t putting anything into that bank account. The more you do, the more ‘deposits’ you build, strengthening your position when negotiating.

“When you then place yourself in the centre of those conversations asking for more, you have been actively increasing your value within the workplace and positioning yourself in a positive way. Doing so prompts your boss to view you positively, prompting the likelihood of them entertaining your proposal.”